When Grief Comes with Anger | Understanding Anger in Grief
There are some losses that don’t just bring sadness.
They bring anger. Disbelief.
The kind of anger that sits in your chest and says,
This should not have happened.
A 7-month-old baby lost her life to gun violence in Brooklyn.
And if you felt something when you heard that… you’re not wrong.
Because this kind of grief is not just about loss.
It’s about injustice.
Is Anger a Normal Part of Grief?
In my work, people often ask if anger is a normal part of grief.
Yes.
And sometimes, it’s the most honest part.
Anger shows up when something sacred is violated.
When something feels deeply wrong.
When something that should have been protected… wasn’t.
And in moments like this, grief doesn’t come quietly.
It comes with questions, frustration, and a need to make sense of something that simply doesn’t make sense.
Anger is an emotion, just like joy. And just like joy, it deserves to be acknowledged, not dismissed.
What Anger in Grief Can Feel Like
You might feel:
Angry at the people responsible
Angry at systems that failed
Angry at how random and unfair life can be
Angry at a world that keeps moving forward
All of that is real.
Why Anger Shows Up in Grief
Anger in grief is not something to fix.
It’s something to understand.
It speaks to what we value.
What we believe should be protected.
What should have never been taken.
A child’s life is sacred.
Safety is sacred.
Peace is sacred.
And when those things are violated, anger makes sense.
Moving Through Anger Without Ignoring It
The work is not to silence it.
The work is to hold it without letting it consume you.
To feel it.
To name it.
To move through it in ways that do not cause further harm.
A baby should not be a headline.
When Grief Feels Overwhelming
Today, we are not just grieving a life lost.
We are grieving a sense of safety, of what should have been.
And if all you can say is, this is not okay,
that is more than enough.
Grief Support: Tools for the Tough Days
If you’re carrying grief that feels heavy, unpredictable, or hard to put into words, you don’t have to sit with it alone.
I created the Grief First Aid Kit: Tools for the Tough Days as a gentle resource for moments when grief feels overwhelming.
It includes grounding tools, emotional check-ins, and simple ways to move through difficult moments without pressure to “fix” how you feel.
This is not about having the right words or doing grief the “right” way.
It’s about having something to return to when things feel like too much.
Source:
Mother of 7-month-old baby shot and killed in Brooklyn wants to set record straight
https://abc7ny.com/post/brooklyn-baby-killed-mother-7-month-old-shot-east-williamsburg-wants-set-record-straight/18836076/
Written by Shantel “Shanti” Robinson, LCSW
Founder: Shanti’s Promise, LLC & Shanti’s Promise Clinical Wellness, PLLC
Empathy. Strength. Renewal
